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Nuestros agradecimientos y reconocimiento a todas las personas cuyo
esfuerzo hace que nos riamos un rato.
Mensaje original en formato texto
En www.microsoft.eu.org se podia leer algo asi como:
[1]microsoft.eu.org Home [2]All Products | [3]Support |
[4]Feedback | [5]microsoft.eu.org Home
Microsoft Linux developments
Welcome to microsoft.eu.org/linux, the ultimate resource for
Microsoft's Linux products!
NEW: Linux users can now become [26]Microsoft Certified Linux Experts!
Don't miss this exciting opportunity!
Rat Head Linux 6.2
The most innovative Linux distribution ever! Featuring Linux
Kernel 0.0.1, X11R5, sendmail 8.7.4, wu-ftpd 2.0 - see for
yourself that even the most advanced Linux distribution out
there is no match for Windows as far as stability, security,
usability and scalability are concerned.
Due to the horrible licensing in Linux, we have to make the
source of some of our extensions to the Linux operating system,
such as the bluescreen module, available to all our customers,
and permit them to re-use it. Like GNU, though, we demand that
you call any redistribution of Linux containing our
modifications Microsoft/Linux or Microsoft/GNU/Linux instead of
just Linux.
Microsoft Windows® for Linux
Microsoft Windows for Linux is not a Windows emulator. While it
will not make your Linux system run Windows applications, it
will make Linux much more user friendly (=more like windows).
See, for example, a screenshot of Microsoft delTM, a part of
Microsoft Windows for Linux, which replaces the primitive rm
command on Linux systems. Microsoft del can be invoked as
"del", "rm" and "erase":
[root@linux-sucks /root]# rm -f "My Document.doc"
Microsoft(R) del(TM) v5.003.001 - part of Microsoft(R)
Windows(R) for Linux.
Distributed under the GPL (http://bero.exit.de/GPL.shmtl).
Redistribution of this product will result in capital
punishment.
Report any illegal copies to piracy@microsoft.eu.org.
Deleting the file My Document.doc...
Are you sure you want to delete the file My Document.doc? [yN]
y
Are you sure you are sure? [yN] y
Really? [yN] y
Deleting files can result in loss of stability, and in
applications not
working correctly anymore. Are you sure you want to do this?
[yN] y
Deleting a file results in a complete loss of warranty of your
Microsoft Linux system. Are you aware of this? [yN] y
Microsoft can not be held responsible for the results of you
using Microsoft del on this file. If you agree, type "I AGREE".
I AGREE
Deleting files should only done by system administrators or
experienced users.
To make sure you may do this, enter your MCSE certificate
number. 19999-22222-00007
Verifying...
Accepted. You may proceed.
WARNING: The filename "My Document.Doc" contains more than 8
characters.
Rename to My Doc~1.doc? [Yn] y
ERROR: Could not delete file: File not found.
Microsoft® Visual® Basic® for® Linux®
The ultimate programming toolkit, a must-have for every Linux
programmer.
Since Linux lacks a graphical user interface, we have had to
redefine the world of linux programming, but also the interface
of VB: You can now write code (or even text) by mouse-clicking
on letters we're displaying on the screen instead of having to
use that evil keyboard!
You'll notice Visual Basic for Linux doesn't have all the fancy
UI generation features you know from Visual Basic for Windows -
that's because Linux is an inferior operating system. If you
need the full functionality, upgrade your OS to [27]Microsoft
Windows®.
_________________________________________________________________
Last updated: Wednesday, March 8 2000
Y en sus enlaces, cosas como:
Welcome to Microsoft Certified Linux Expert (MCLE) training!
This is a preview edition of the Microsoft Certified Linux Expert
(MCLETM) test. The correct answers are currently shown in bold for
your verification.
[26]Let us know if you have any suggestions.
This test is there to ensure you know everything you need to know
about both the Linux operating system and the Linux community.
1. You are told to install a Web Server on a Linux system. What do you do?
(_) Install Apache
(_) Install Microsoft Internet Information Server
(_) Linux is not stable enough for running web servers. I install
Windows 2000 on the server.
(_) Install phhttpd
2. If you hear someone in the Linux world praising RMS, he's talking about
(_) Richard M. Stallman
(_) Redmond's MicroSoft
(_) Remote Machine Services
3. After bootup, a linux machine hangs, showing the error message "login:".
How do you fix this?
(_) This is not a problem actually, I enter my login name and
password.
(_) Reboot, if that doesn't help, reinstall, if that doesn't help,
complain to the vendor.
(_) This system hang is a big enough problem to justify replacing
Linux with Windows 2000
4. The correct way to install a word processor on Linux is:
(_) rpm -i abiword-0.7.8-2.i386.rpm
(_) dpkg -i koffice.deb
(_) tar xzf lyx-1.0.1.tar.gz
(_) Using kpackage to install an RPM, deb or tgz
(_) Using gnorpm to install an RPM
(_) /sbin/reboot, insert a Windows 98 disk, fdisk /mbr, fdisk, format
c:, d:\setup
Microsoft Products
Due to popular demand (users of real operating systems don't want to
be bothered with Linux products), Microsoft's Linux products, Rat Head
Linux and Microsoft Windows® for Linux, have been moved to
[26]http://bero.exit.de/linux/.
Other Microsoft Products:
Microsoft Windows® 2000
The most innovative piece of theft ever! Absolute highlight:
you can now telnet into your machine and execute some commands
remotely! Just like you could in Unix systems about 20 years
ago!
Another highlight is the introduction of 65535 all new bugs.
Update: The actual number of bugs is much higher - our 16-bit
operating system simply couldn't handle a higher number.
You can read the press release [27]here.
Microsoft Windows for Windows®
The ultimate Microsoft Windows® emulator for Microsoft
Windows®!
We guarantee that Microsoft Windows for Windows can run 100% of
all Microsoft Windows applications and games.
System requirements:
+ Pentium II, AMD Athlon or higher
+ 256 MB RAM
+ 850 MB free harddisk space
+ Microsoft Windows
Order your copy of Microsoft Windows for Windows® now, and you
get it at a special discount price of only $999.99!
Ultima actualizacion: 26/10/2003 - 12:08:13
Autor(es): Andrés Herrera
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